On getting schooled by your 8-year-old on generosity


I’ve read 4 books about generosity this year.

I meet with a team to discuss and plan for generosity.

I talk about generosity a lot in my work.

But you know who has taught me the most about generosity lately?  My 8-year-old son.

Last week, we were up at his school for open house.  We were standing in the hall as he showed me his work posted on the wall outside his classroom.  I was supposed to answer questions to see if I was smarter than a third grader.  (I’m happy to announce that I got my question right!  Whew!)

And then one of his friends walked by and I noticed it.  He had something on that was obviously Caleb’s.  I looked at Caleb.  Caleb looked at me.  I asked him about it.  He said he had let his friend borrow it.

It was something that I kind of have sentimental feelings about.  This item is something kind of special.

This kind of thing has happened before.

Years ago, Caleb was dying for some little toys that kids at school were getting through a fundraiser.  We were not doing the fundraiser, so he was not getting them.  Then one day much later, I was walking through Target and saw a box of them.  I don’t buy my kids toys very often, but I knew how much Caleb had been wanting them.  A wave of love for him flooded over me in the aisle, and I decided to buy them for him.  To surprise him with these small toys that he had been wanting for so long.

He took these toys with him everywhere.  He carried them in a little bag.  One night, we went to dinner with family and he left them at the restaurant.  On the way home, he realized he had left them and was freaking out.  I called the restaurant, but they said they didn’t see them.  I even left our phone number to call us back if they did turn up.

Months later, I found more of these small toys and bought them for Caleb.  They came in a pack of 12.  That same day, two of his friends came over to the house and he proceeded to give most of the toys away.

I’ll be honest.  I was hurt.  Buying him those toys had been a big deal to me.  It was an act of love.  It was something special that I wanted to do for him.  But he gave them away.

And I’ll be honest again.  Last week, standing in the hall at his school, I had him ask for this other special item back.

Later that night, I told Caleb how proud I was of him that he is so willing to give anything he has away.  No matter how special it is.  I really am proud of him.

But that night has haunted me ever since.

I don’t really know what I should have done.  Maybe I should have let the other kid keep the item that was special to me.  Or maybe I did the right thing to try to teach my son that sometimes things are just special and you need to think of what they mean to others also.

I really don’t know.

But I can tell you that I learned just how generous my son is.  And I should strive to be more like him.  I know for a fact he gives things away all the time.  If someone needs something or wants something, he wants to give anything he can.  And I know that because of his generosity, he is on the receiving end all the time too.  He comes home with things that kids from school gave him all the time.

These kids know how to give!

Over the last week, I’ve been wrestling with things.  I want to be someone who is extravagantly generous with all that I have.  I don’t want material things to have a hold on me.  I know everything that I have belongs to God.  I should be willing to give everything!

I want to be part of a church that is known for its extravagant giving.  A church that boldly gives money and things away to those that need them because it knows that God is not a God of scarcity…He is a God of enough.

I want to test God when He says, “Test me in this, and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it.”

To do that, I need to be more like my 8-year-old son.

Overwhelmed and frustrated

I felt overwhelmed last night.

When I picked the twins up from school, Sadie hugged me and said I was the best Momma ever.  When we got home, she threw down on the front porch and had a fit.  I wasn’t the best Momma ever anymore. 🙂

Caleb does all of his homework on Monday nights.  And it takes all. night. long.  Not fun.

My house is a wreck and it’s driving me nuts!


When it was the kids’ bed time, I was done.  And of course they were not easy to put down.  They kept getting up.  They used every stall tactic in the book.  So I was frustrated.

This morning, I could not get them to get up and get ready.  We were pressed for time and they would just not move!

Again, I was frustrated.

When we got into the parking lot at my son’s school, it was time for a little pow-wow.

I apologized for the fact that I had been so frustrated with them last night and this morning, but I also let them know that they are going to have to help me out.  We are going to have to get better about bed times, mornings, picking up after ourselves, not being so loud all the time, being nice to each other, etc.  Especially since Chris is at school 3 nights a week and is pretty much busy the rest of the time.

We’re in a crazy period in our lives.  I’ve learned to let many things go, so I don’t feel overwhelmed too often.  But when I do, the little things that the kids do frustrate me more than ever.  And I don’t like being frustrated at them.

So after I apologized for being so frustrated, Sadie immediately said “It’s OK Momma!  God is with you!”

Aww!  Yay!  Parenting win!

It was super sweet and cute for a few seconds, and then I was like “Thank you, Sadie!   You are right!  God is always with us and I don’t have to be frustrated.  But still!!  You guys have got to help me out!”

Here’s to hoping we have an easier night tonight!  And here’s to a God who is always with us!