When you tell your husband he can have a desk…

When you tell your husband he can have a desk…

You have to clear out the old toy room and move stuff upstairs.

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Then you have to make sure all 3 kids have toy boxes in their rooms.

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Then you go desk shopping. You get a desk and a file thingy. You bring it all home and have to put it together.

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But since your husband is getting a desk, you ask for a nice chair because you’ve always wanted the front room to look nice. It’s only fair! So you go chair shopping.

Then your husband decides he needs two monitors and a keyboard for the new desk.

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And then he decides he needs a desk chair.

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Then he decides he needs a chair mat for the chair to roll around on. All of these take separate trips to the store.

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Then you start taking the old decorations off the walls and you realize the wall is all messed up…

So you have to paint that room.

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All the while, you are looking for a small table to go by the new chair. You’ve signed up for a “Do-it-herself” workshop at Home Depot. Come to find out, your project is to make a table with a mosaic top! Perfect!

But then you have to paint the table.

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Your chair gets delivered and you decide you want a pretty pillow to go on it.

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And finally, you call it good!

Except, now you are wanting a small table lamp and floor lamp…

All because your husband wanted a desk!

Leaning into tension

I hate, HATE tension and conflict.  I want everyone to be happy all the time, be best friends and sing and dance like they do in the musicals.  This isn’t too much to ask for, right?  Right!  Good!  Glad we’re in agreement!  It’s perfectly reasonable.

For most of my life, I did whatever it took to make sure tension didn’t happen.  I did everything in my power to head it off at the pass.  Make sure that it didn’t ever start.  (Come on!  Really!  I’m not sure why I ever thought I could avert tension!  For goodness sake, it’s everywhere!)

And if it did come my way, I took off and ran with all my might to the hills.  (Or at least made sure that I was pretty well protected from it before I ran.)  I didn’t want any of that!  No sirree!  Tension is bad, right?

I’m pretty slow at these things, but I’m finally coming to realize that tension and conflict are not always a bad thing.  That they can be used and turned into a whole lot of good if they are addressed well.  (I’m growing up!  Finally!)

I have one friend in particular who has been helping me with this lately.  I’ll describe to her what I’m going through and how I’m feeling, and she boldly tells me what I need to do.  That I need to face the issue.  Not let it pass me by and let it continue to nag at me for days, weeks or years.  To stand up for myself.  To speak truth in a loving way.  To stand for what is right.  To do something about it!  I love this friend dearly, and I’m so glad that she is willing to be open and honest with me.  She loves me enough to not let me settle.  She pushes me to do hard things because she knows it’s what’s best for me.  And that good will come from it.  That it will make me stronger.  And when I have my little successes, she’s the first to hear about it!  She’s my biggest cheerleader!

And I’m trying!  But this is all so new and fresh to me.  It’s hard!  Stinkin’ HARD!  I want to give up so easily!  I want to back down.  Some days I just want to go crawl back in bed and bury my head in the covers.  It seems much safer all covered up and hiding in bed.  But I know that I have to keep making right decisions no matter what.  Even (and maybe especially) when they are hard.

So, I’m trying to lean into tension.  I continually (pretty much daily ) have to fight the urge to run.  To make myself stop, think and start moving toward the tension.  To really lean in.  Embrace it.  Experience it.  And learn from it.

Leaning, walking or running into tension is a huge learning experience.  Sometimes we will handle things well.  Sometimes we won’t.  But we will always learn.  We will always be better for it.  For we have fully participated in life.  Life is beautiful.  But life is also messy.  And we should lean into both the beautiful and the messy!

I encourage you to lean into tension.  When you feel the urge to run, decide to walk toward the tension.  Be brave and courageous!  I believe that if more of us leaned into tension, things would change.

Go and be a world changer!

What are some ways that you have had to lean into tension in your life?  How did that go?  What did you learn from it?

Let The Worship Experiment begin!

Yesterday we talked about how great the church mobilizes when there is a crisis and how we need to train ourselves to look for needs in the lives of everyone around us.  Every day!  In times of crisis, the church really becomes the church.  The way Jesus intended it to be.

So what does need look like?  What do we start looking for since we have become conditioned to not see it?

Need looks like problems.  If you see someone or something that you have tended to avoid, there’s probably some way you can help.  If you see something that isn’t right.  That makes you uncomfortable, look for ways to make things right.

So often we just see things or people as problems.  We feel inconvenienced or frustrated by these things.  But rarely do we let these feelings propel us into doing something about them.  Most of the time, we ignore them or run the other way.

THE WORSHIP EXPERIMENT

I’d like for you to join me on an experiment!  Here’s what you do:

– Over this week, pray that you will see the needs of people around you.

– As you go through the week, try to look for needs.

– Once you identify a need, determine what you can do to help meet the need.   Even if that means just listening to someone who needs to talk.  Maybe it’s giving someone food.  There are million different ways you can help.  All you have to do is decide to do something!  Even small things mean a lot to someone in physical, emotional, etc. need.  They show that you care.

– On Sunday morning, see how you feel about the week and about church.  See if there is anything noticeably different.   Has anything changed from the week before?

I will be doing this experiment on my own also.  I’d love to hear your experiences and share your stories!  To help give others examples of needs around them, ways to help, etc.  Let’s encourage each other on as we look for ways to make connections with those around us and be Jesus in tangible ways to our friends.  And may we all come together on Sunday mornings excited, changed and propelled into the next week because of what God has done in our lives and the lives of others in the week before!

The Worship Experiment: 2 of 2

When there is a major crisis (natural disaster, a church member in drastic need, etc.), what does the church do?  It mobilizes!  People’s hearts are stirred and things happen!  And they happen fast!  Supplies are purchased and donated, money is sent, food is prepared.  It’s a wonderful, beautiful thing!

And when we help in big ways like this, we feel pretty good about God, Christians, the church and ourselves.  When crisis happens, we don’t feel put out when we’re asked to help.  We want to help!  In the middle of it, we don’t complain that we are being inconvenienced.  We don’t get caught up in petty complaints about life and church.  For the most part, we don’t care about how much money it’s going to take to help.  We just make it happen!  And we’re happy about it!  It makes us feel really good!  We are glad to do anything we can, and we’re happy to have had the chance to help.  To contribute to the greater good.

After a church has all come together to help in a big way, we feel great about the good that we have accomplished together.  The Sunday after this, we’re all on a little high.  God has showed up!  We realize the impact that we have had, and we’re a little more excited than normal to worship that week.  There is a buzz in the air.  It’s electric.

But give us a few weeks, and we’re back to our old selves.  Back to the hum-drum of Sunday morning church.  We each come for our own reasons, but the vast majority of us leave the worship experience on Sundays feeling a little hollow.  We were there.  We tried to worship.  We really did!  But there is still something missing.  We expect church to fill us up for the week ahead, but then we’re frustrated when it seems to fall flat and not inspire us to do something great that week.  It doesn’t change our lives.

But maybe the answer isn’t in what the church needs to do/provide for us.  Maybe it’s in what we have done all week long in between church services.

Why does it take a major crisis to move us?  But a bigger question is:

Why are we blind to the crisis around us all week long?  The people in our daily lives crying out for help?  They are everywhere!  There is crisis everywhere!  Our eyes and hearts have just become blind or hardened toward it over time.  We either choose to not see it or we are just too busy focusing on our own lives to really take the time to see that all around us, people are drowning in their own personal crises.

So somehow, we need to open our eyes to the people around us.  The guy sitting at the desk next to you at work.  The cashier at your grocery store.  Your next-door neighbor.  Your child’s teacher.  Parents sitting next to us in the stands while we watch our kids’ sports games.  The list goes on!  If we train ourselves to constantly be looking for crisis and needs, we will find it!  It’s there!  And if we start looking for it…if we expect it, we will be moved to help.  We won’t be able to stand it!  We will have to do what we can to bring hope to those who need it.  We will mobilize!  We will do what it takes, and it will not inconvenience us!  We will love like never before.  We will pray like never before.  We will give like never before.

And we will worship on Sunday mornings like never before!  If we’ve spent all week, every week ministering to the needs of people around us, worship will come easy to us!  We will be so excited about coming to church on Sunday mornings that we can hardly contain ourselves!  We will want to share what has happened during our week.  We will be ready to worship the God who has shown up big in our life during the week…because we decided to show up for those around us!  And the name of God and his goodness will be a lot more loose on our lips throughout the next week.  It will be easy to talk about his love!

Tomorrow’s post is about what I am calling The Worship Experiment.  If you are moved by any of this or any of this speaks to you, please share it with friends.

Let’s get The Worship Experiment rolling!  Let’s go!

Click here to view the first post in this series.

The Worship Experiment: 1 of 2

I’ll be honest. For many years, I haven’t been all that happy with church. I’ve yearned for more, but I felt like I wasn’t getting it. My husband is on a team at our church that plans what happens in Bible class. I know I’ve driven him crazy with my complaints along the way. He’s worked hard over the years to continue to make things better. I haven’t been much help to him. Just another person complaining out of my selfishness. The church just wasn’t giving me what I felt like I needed. The classes weren’t deep enough for me.  The worship time wasn’t what I wanted or felt like I needed. Lots of selfishness on my part.

Surely I’m not alone on this.  Can I get an amen?!

But lately, I’ve sensed a shift in myself. I have looked forward to church. I’ve been paying more attention in Bible class and have actually been participating quite a bit in the discussion.  I’ve loved it!

So what changed?

Church is the same.  The people are the same.

But I’ve realized that I am thinking about serving, reaching and helping others more during my week. On the 6 other days in between church, I am looking for opportunities to minister to people. To listen to others. To respond to a need when it presents itself. To show love to people.  To be contagious.

No longer am I feeling like I need the church to serve me. To teach me. To cater to my needs.

And because of this shift in my focus, I have been coming to church excited and more ready to worship than I ever have before.

Over the next few days, I am going to have a couple of posts on this topic. Fleshing all of this out. The last post will be about what I’m calling The Worship Experiment. I hope you’ll join me in this experiment!

Let’s do this thing!

Would someone please just hear me out?

When you work for a church, you get to talk to a lot of hurting people.  When your church has a ministry to help people needing food or financial assistance, you really get to talk to a lot of hurting people.

The other day, I picked up the phone and talked with a lady who was needing help with her rent.  She was stressed about her financial situation.  Understandably so!  But she was more stressed out about some situations going on in her family right now.  I had the wonderful opportunity to listen to my new friend and at least make her feel like someone understood her situation.  Because I do!  This lady is going through something that I’ve already experienced.  And I think it helped her to know that someone out there understood her and felt her pain!  I told her that I would be praying for her and her family.  And I am!  They are weighing heavy on my heart…because I have been there.

After talking with my new friend, I found myself thinking that I’m kind of glad that I’ve had to go through some hard things in life.  Even if for no other reason than the chance to talk with this lady.

Nine years ago when I started working at the church, I sucked at talking with and ministering to people on the phone!  SUCKED!  I was young and not much life had happened to me yet.  But quickly, I learned that even if you can’t help someone, they just want to be heard.  They are hurting.  They just need someone to talk to.  And if you can’t do anything else for them, at least you’ve heard them out, validated their feelings and made them feel important.  

And really, isn’t that what we all want?

From a girl who doesn’t know what she’s doing

Leaders are important. We look up to them. Most of the time, we hold them in high esteem. And we expect great things from them.  We think they have their act together.

Recently, I’ve heard a few big name CEO’s speak who readily admit that most of the time, they don’t know what they are doing.  They have lots of ideas and try lots of things.  Some work.  Some don’t.  Some are huge disasters.  But they keep trying.  They keep pressing on with passion to find ways to get better and help others.  But most of the time, they still feel like they don’t know what they are doing.  These are my favorite kinds of leaders!  Leaders that will be humble enough to admit that they don’t have all the answers.  That they screw up just like the rest of us.  And that this is all OK!

When I heard this from one of the leaders, it made me feel a lot better about myself.  I put a lot of pressure on myself to do well and not screw up.  But most of the time in life, I feel like I really don’t have a fat clue of what I am doing.  Taking care of the house.  Being a wife.  Being a parent.  At work.  With friends.  In all areas of life!  Most of the time, I feel like I’m just making everything up!

But that’s just it!  We are all just making things up!  We all go through life trying out things and ideas.  None of us has the official master plan of what life is supposed to look like.  It’s different for every single one of us.  We just keep trying.

Sometimes things will work.  Sometimes they won’t.  Some days will be great.  Others will be disasters.  But we keep going.  And it’s OK to feel like you do not know what you are doing!

Book Recommendation

If you know me much at all, you know that I am a voracious reader. I absolutely love books! Any kinds of books! I’ll read anything! Fiction. Non-fiction. Classics. Sci-fi. Religious. Biographies. Anything! I enjoy it all!

Because I read so much, I’m pretty picky about what I read. I want to read good, quality writing and not waste my time on mediocre or poor writing. (Though I will make an exception at times when I’m in the mood for an easy, fun read.)

But most of the time I base my judgement of a book on how I felt about it. Did I enjoy the story? Could I absolutely not put it down? Did it leave me wanting more?

This all being said, I just finished a book that I absolutely loved. It is Flesh: Bringing the Incarnation Down to Earth by Hugh Halter.

I loved this book! While reading it, I kept interrupting Chris while he was watching TV to read him quotes. I recommended it to the preacher at my church. I highlighted about half of the book, and I now feel like I need to re-read it to fully understand what it was saying. So many times in this book, I found myself saying “Yes. Yes. Yes!!!”

So, if you enjoy reading at all, I suggest you read this book! It is powerful and encouraging, and it has made me want to get off my rear and move!

Enjoy!

Life with a touch of whimsy

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One of my favorite words right now is whimsy.

whim·sy: a playful or amusing quality : a sense of humor or playfulness

Of course, I’ve known this word for a long time, but I began to really love it when I read Bob Goff’s book Love Does this last year.  This book gave new meaning and life to this word for me.

Whimsy.  The word even sounds fun!

I now look for whimsy all over the place in my life.

Soon after I read the book, I ran a half marathon.  About 2/3rds of the way through the race when I was about ready to die, some kids were blowing bubbles onto the runners and I immediately thought “Whimsy!” And at least for a few seconds, I felt a little happier. 🙂

Today, I took my oldest son to lunch.  I’ve had all kinds of mommy guilt the last few days since it’s Spring Break, and I have to work.  I feel so bad for my kiddo who is out of school for the week.  (Though I shouldn’t feel too bad.  He had an awesome day with his Mimi yesterday, and he gets to hang out with fun kids at our church’s daycare!  He’s good!)  So, today I took him to a special lunch.  Just the two of us.  He was so excited and silly the whole time, and I loved it!  And then when we were leaving the restaurant and were outside walking to our car, he started singing and dancing.  I immediately thought that I’m so glad he doesn’t really care what other people think of him.  He’s more interested in having a good time!  Then I thought “I want to dance!  Why am I not dancing?!  I should dance!”  So, for a few seconds, in the middle of the parking lot, we danced!  It was awesome!  It was full of whimsy!

I want to live with whimsy!  And even more so, I want my kids to grow up appreciating whimsy.  To look for it.  To create it.  To expect it!

May there be many more dances in parking lots!

My Story

I had another realization this Sunday in Bible Class.

I was saved and baptized when I was 9 years old. That’s pretty young, but I fully understood what I was doing and felt called by God. I have always been someone who follows rules, so before my salvation experience, I was a good little 9-year-old kid. Afterwards, I was still a good little 9-year-old kid.  I don’t have a big conversion story where there was a drastic change in my life.

I have always struggled with how to share my testimony when I don’t have much to say about my conversion experience. Of course I sinned before I was saved, but I’ve sinned plenty after I was saved too.

But lately, in our Becoming a Contagious Christian series, we’ve talked a lot in our class and LIFE Group about the “becoming” part. We tend to put a lot of emphasis on the initial conversion experience, but the reality is we will continue “becoming” for the rest of the time that we are on this Earth.

I’ve realized that my story includes my conversion experience, but then it also includes every other experience from that point on. How I’ve screwed up and been redeemed…over and over! Lessons that I have learned along the way. Ways that I have grown.  Ways that God has obviously shown up and in my life and touched me.  How I’ve lost faith over and over again along the way and God continues to bring me back to him.  How God has truly been changing my life.  How God has loved me through it all!

And I’ve realized that because of the experiences I have had, I find it much easier to connect with people.  That doors to spiritual conversations will be flung open wide if I choose to listen to others’ stories and help any way I can from the experiences that I have had.  And people need to see how we are allowing God to change our lives on a daily basis!

Everyone’s conversion experience is incredibly important!  Just don’t forget that the rest of your story is equally important!  And people need to hear about it!