Here’s something that I’ve never admitted before that kind of sounds silly now…

Growing up, I was afraid of Jesus coming back.

I feel so silly saying that, but it was a real thing.  But thinking back, I was scared of most everything, so why not this too! 🙂

When I was 9 years old, I was saved.  The Holy Spirit had clearly been talking to me for a good while, and it was time.  I wholeheartedly gave my heart and life to Christ.

I knew God loved me so very much and that I was without a doubt a Christian, but I was scared.

We talked a lot about Jesus coming back when I was a kid.  I think the main thing I was afraid of was the idea of the Rapture…where Jesus came back and took away all the Christians leaving the non-Christians behind.  I knew I was a Christian, but I was terrified that maybe, somehow I would be left.

Remember how I was scared of pretty much everything?  I have one vivid memory of laying in bed during a strong thunderstorm in college fearful of the storm but also worrying myself crazy that maybe Jesus was about to come back.  Have I said it sounds so silly now? 🙂

I think a lot of people had this fear.  I’ve heard so many stories of friends seeing clothes laid out on the floor or waking up to find their spouse not in the bed anymore and having a split second of panic.

Over the years, I have encountered God in so many ways.  He has showed up big in times of great sadness, confusion, doubt, deep grief, anger…and times of amazing joy!  He and I have bonded over life.  Over the things that we go through together daily.  He is with me.

And I’m not scared anymore.  In fact, I yearn for Him more than ever.  I see the pains in the world and my own life and I yearn for His presence.  I crave his touch in my life.  I plead for Him to come.

I pray that I will somehow be able to pass on this longing to my kids.  I pray that they can learn more quickly than mom has. I pray that they will fully understand the vast, deep, wide love of Jesus and have no fear.

For there is no fear in love.