It’s hard when we feel that others dislike us. It hurts when we feel looked over or ignored. It’s crummy when others have favorites and we’re not one of them. It’s downright painful when others seem to flat out hate us.
We all want to be liked. And it bothers us when we are kind, are good friends, go out of our way and try really hard and it just doesn’t seem to be enough for some people.
A few weeks ago, I was at lunch with friends, and we were talking about how hurtful it is that someone we know seems to not care about people unless you are one of their favorites. We talked about how it can make us feel less-than.
And then it hit me…
Why do we allow our worth to be wrapped up in what others seem to think of us?
Our worth comes from one person…God. And He thinks every single one of us is extremely special. Worth creating. Worth His love. Even worth dying for! And if that doesn’t give us some Jesus swagger and pep in our step, I don’t know what will!! Dang it! We should walk around confident in the fact that we are children of God, loving others like crazy no matter how we are treated!
We are always going to want to be liked, but we cannot let our worth come from others. We cannot let how we feel about ourselves come from how we perceive others see us.
How the other person acts toward us is on them. It has very little to do with us! The way others treat us says more about them and what is going on in their heart and in their world than it does about us. Let me say that again! Let’s all read it slowly together! 🙂 The way others treat us says more about them and what is going on in their heart and in their world than it does about us. We can’t control them or how they see or act toward us.
We can only control ourselves.
We can control how we treat others. How we are kind and make people feel valued. How we do not belittle others. Talk behind their backs. Make fun of them. We can even control and work on our attitudes!
I read awhile back that you are typically going to have 80% of the people in your life who like you and are good with you. But you are going to have to accept the fact that you’re probably always going to have another 20% who just don’t like you or agree with you for some reason or another. And we have to realize that our worth and value does not come from the 20%. Shoot! It doesn’t come from the 80% either!
I’m going to screw up. I’m going to do some things that tick others off. Sometimes royally. As hard as I try, I can’t help it. It’s inevitable. It’s part of life. As much as I would like to, I just can’t control what others think of me. And trust me, it will always bother me when people don’t like me. Always will.
But I’m committed to trying to be a person who is as accepting of all as possible. Someone who makes people feel valued and loved. Someone who listens. Someone who shows up. Someone who is willing to have some hard conversations that no one else wants to have to make things better for all. A friend who stands up for her friends. Who tries to only speak nicely of others…even when it’s really hard!
I can’t control others. I can only control myself.
My value doesn’t come from others, and yours doesn’t either!