Lately, I feel like my life is a series of periods of waiting on God. Waiting for an answer. Waiting for clarity. Waiting and listening. Gut wrenching, soul-searching, waiting.
Anybody with me on this?
Saturday morning, my mom sent me the Bible verse “Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” Ps. 27:14
I wrote about this not long ago.
Below is an excerpt from an email that I replied back to my mom:
“It seems like life is a series of times of waiting on God. Seems like we’re always waiting on something. Constantly waiting to hear what he wants us to do next. At least that’s how I feel. It’s nice to know he’s in control because I don’t feel like I’m in control of anything. So I wait. But the thing is, he is faithful and good in the bad times, in the good times and in the waiting.”
I’m not sure I’ll ever really like waiting. In fact, I know I won’t. I’m a girl who likes action. I like to have a plan in place. I like answers and certainty. But now, after being given so many chances to wait, it doesn’t bother me as much anymore. I have learned that God is truly with me. He’s always been there with me. I trust him. And things may not go how I want them to go. (They already haven’t time and time again.) But I know that no matter what, I will have God’s love and presence. And that makes the waiting more bearable.
I have also learned that there is beauty in the waiting. There is beauty in not having all the answers. Beauty in giving up control and realizing you have to rely on someone else.
There is a whole heck of a lot of beauty in the moments of stillness. In the quiet emptiness (however long it is) before God answers.
There is beauty in the searching. In the asking. In the pleading.
I believe God thinks times of waiting are beautiful too. They are some of the times that mold, shape and transform us the most in life. They are the times that I have clung to God and been close to him. They aren’t fun, but they are precious times.
Our church is about to start an Advent class, and I’m excited. The waiting of Advent gives me a renewed sense of hope. I’m excited to wait in anticipation. Wait with hope. With longing for the Son of God. That tiny baby who loves and saves us all.